2022 BMW K 1600 GTL | Road Test Review

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
BMW’s K Series lineup, which includes the K 1600 GTL and three other models, has been thoroughly updated for 2022. We logged 2,000 miles on the GTL for this road test. Photos by Kevin Wing.

It has been four decades since BMW introduced the K 100, its first motorcycle powered by a liquid-cooled in-line 4-cylinder engine. Known as the “Flying Brick,” the 987cc Four was laid on its side, with the cylinder head on the left and the crankshaft on the right. In 1988, the K 100 became the first motorcycle equipped with anti-lock brakes.

Check out Rider‘s 2022 Motorcycle Buyer’s Guide

From such humble, idiosyncratic roots grew a K Series family tree with many branches, including the K 75 (essentially a K 100 with a cylinder lopped off), the futuristic K 1 (winner of Rider’s first Motorcycle of the Year award in 1990), the 167-hp K 1200 S sportbike (its transverse-mounted engine marked the end of the “Flying Brick” era), and the opulent K 1200 LT luxury-tourer (available with such options as a CD changer and a small refrigerator).

BMW gave its K Series a clean-sheet reboot for 2012 when it launched the K 1600 GT sport-tourer and K 1600 GTL luxury-tourer. Compared to its K 1300 predecessor, the K 1600 engine grew from four cylinders to six, and displacement increased from 1,293cc to 1,649cc.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
The K 1600’s six cylinders are canted forward 55 degrees, but Kevin Duke got them nearly vertical at the bike’s launch in South Africa. Photo courtesy BMW Motorrad.

The perfectly balanced, incredibly smooth in-line Six was – and still is – one of the best engines ever stuffed into a production motorcycle. Mild and unassuming at cruising speeds, a hard twist of the right grip releases a wail like a long-tailed cat caught under a rocking chair. Generating 160 hp and 129 lb-ft of torque at the crank, the engine supplies stump-pulling grunt at any rpm in any gear. At the K 1600 GT/GTL world press launch in South Africa, my colleague Kevin Duke – at the time Editor-in-Chief at Motorcycle.com; now EIC at American Rider – demonstrated the Six’s prodigious torque by pulling an impressive wheelie on the nearly 800-lb GTL.

With features such as throttle-by-wire, ride modes, lean-angle-adaptive traction control, electronically adjustable suspension, and an industry-first cornering headlight, not to mention class-leading comfort, wind protection, and storage capacity, the K 1600 GT and K 1600 GTL were groundbreaking machines in their respective segments.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
The K 1600 GTL was Rider’s 2012 Motorcycle of the Year.

The K 1600 GTL was the unanimous choice for Rider’s 2012 Motorcycle of the Year award. “The K 1600 platform makes the most sense parked under the GTL luxury-tourer’s standard equipment,” we said. “Stacked against its luxo competition [i.e., the Honda Gold Wing], the GTL offers less weight, more power and load capacity, and, if the owner of one wants more of a sport-touring experience, the top trunk is easily removed (and it fits and is offered as an accessory for the GT). Comfort is equal to or better than anything in the luxury-touring class, and the GTL steers, stops, and handles like it weighs even less than its 776 pounds ready-to-ride.”

Aluminum Anniversary

Over the past 10 years, the K 1600 platform has evolved and expanded. From 2012 to 2017, there were just two models: the GT, which has saddlebags (but no trunk), sport-touring ergos, and a short windscreen, and the GTL, which adds a trunk with an integrated passenger backrest, a plusher two-up seat, and a larger windscreen.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
With six cylinders generating 160 hp and 133 lb-ft of torque, the mighty GTL howls like a banshee when wrung out on a backroad.

For 2018, BMW introduced the K 1600 B bagger, which has a tubular handlebar, streamlined saddlebags, and a lower profile than the GT thanks to a shorter windscreen, lower seats, and less suspension travel. Next came the K 1600 Grand America, which is to the B what the GTL is to the GT, with a trunk, a taller windscreen, and more generous rider and passenger accommodations.

In all, I’ve probably logged 15,000 miles on various K 1600 models. I attended the K 1600 GT/GTL launch in South Africa in 2011, and in the years that followed, I spearheaded comparison tests of the K 1600 GTL vs. the Honda Gold Wing, the K 1600 GT vs. the Kawasaki Concours 14, and others. In 2014, I tested the short-lived ultra-premium K 1600 GTL Exclusive. Three years later, I flew to North Carolina for the launch of the K 1600 B and then rode one 3,500 miles through 14 states on my way back to California. And in 2018, my wife, Carrie, and I picked up a K 1600 Grand America from BMW’s headquarters in New Jersey and spent a week riding it through New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Vermont on our way to and from the Americade rally.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Dynamic Electronic Suspension Adjustment (ESA) “Next Generation” has improved damping calibration and now provides automatic load leveling.

For 2022, BMW has given the K 1600 platform its most extensive update yet, starting with the engine, which now meets Euro 5 regulations and makes a claimed 160 hp at 6,750 rpm (1,000 rpm earlier than before) and 133 lb-ft of torque (up from 129) at 5,250 rpm. All models get a new 6-axis IMU that informs most of the electronic rider aids, and standard equipment now includes engine-drag torque control, Dynamic ESA (Electronic Suspension Adjustment) “Next Generation” with automatic load leveling, a 10.25-inch TFT color display with integrated navigation (via the BMW Motorrad Connected app) and Bluetooth connectivity, BMW’s Audio System 2.0 (on the GTL and Grand America), and several new comfort and convenient features.

Grand Touring Luxury

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Luxurious two-up accommodations include wide, supportive seats with backrests, large footrests, excellent wind protection, and 155 liters of storage.

In June, I picked up a K 1600 GTL with only 55 miles on its odometer in Riverside, California. The standard GTL ($26,895) has a Black Storm Metallic paint scheme. Our test bike had the $795 Exclusive Style Package, which includes Gravity Blue Metallic paint, black tank trim, chrome slipstream deflectors, and chrome saddlebag trim. It was also equipped with the $1,850 Premium Package, which adds Keyless Ride, a central locking system, a bi-directional quickshifter, LED auxiliary lights, and engine protection bars, as well as floor lighting ($100). Our GTL’s as-tested price comes to $29,640, and the destination charge adds another $795.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Standard equipment on all K 1600 models, two slipstream deflectors (the right one shown in its deployed position) direct air into the cockpit when desired.

My first task was to download the BMW Motorrad Connected app and use it to pair my iPhone to the bike. Replacing the dash cradle that held a BMW Navigator GPS unit (a $900 option) is a new air-conditioned smartphone charging compartment. The windscreen must be raised to access the top-loading compartment, and pressing a button next to the TFT display opens it. The compartment lid is secured by two latches, and pressing the button typically released the left latch but not the right one. The button and latches were balky through our test, and my iPhone 12 Pro with its slim Otterbox case was a tight fit, making it sometimes difficult to get both latches to catch when I pressed down on the spring-loaded compartment lid.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Most smartphones fit in the air-conditioned charging compartment, but some are a tight fit.

To use the app’s turn-by-turn navigation, I had to set the app’s location access on my iPhone to “always” and change the phone’s display auto-lock (sleep mode) to “never,” both of which accelerate battery drain. Rather than leave my phone in my pocket, I used BMW’s specially angled adapter cable ($30) to charge my phone while the compartment’s A/C kept it cool. When the ignition is turned off, the windscreen automatically lowers to prevent someone with sticky fingers from opening the nonlocking phone compartment. If you want to remove your phone when you get off the bike, you must remember to do so before shutting off the power.

As much as I appreciate not having to spend another $900 on BMW’s Navigator GPS, the smartphone solution doesn’t work as well as it should. With practice, the steps involved become easier, but the app’s user experience needs to be simplified, and the smartphone compartment is too fiddly. On a $30,000 motorcycle, I don’t want to fight with the smartphone compartment or the windscreen every time I put my phone in or take it out. I also shouldn’t have to remove the protective case so my phone fits better. And if I had the taller, wider Max version of the iPhone? Forget it. It wouldn’t fit.

Once I got the maps for Southern California downloaded to the app, the app paired to the bike, my phone’s settings dialed in, and my home address punched into the app, the on-screen navigation worked great and provided clear routing for my 125-mile ride home to Ventura.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
The large 10.25 TFT display clearly shows navigation and other info.

The enormous 10.25-inch TFT display, which first appeared on the R 1250 RT and is also on the R 18 B and R 18 Transcontinental, has crisp graphics that are large and easy to read. The screen is large enough that the navigation can be on the left and vehicle info on the right. BMW’s Multi-Controller wheel, which debuted on the K 1600 GT and GTL a decade ago and has since migrated to other premium BMW models, remains one of the easiest menu navigation devices available.

New on all K 1600 models are four configurable Favorites buttons, which are located within reach on the fairing to the left of the fuel tank. Each button can be programmed to provide quick access to 18 different functions, including everything from the grip and seat heaters to phone contacts and call history. Navigating to some of these functions through the menus can take multiple steps, so shortcut buttons are useful. However, the buttons are not backlit, nor are any of the buttons on the handlebar switchgear, making them difficult to use at night. On a flagship luxury touring bike, the little details matter.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
On the left side of the fairing are the four configurable Favorites buttons and one of two lockable fairing compartments.

Road Worthy

Out on the road, the K 1600 GTL is large and in charge. The rider sits deeply into the 29.5-inch nonadjustable seat, which has wrap-around lumbar support. Those with long legs will want the optional high seat that’s 2 inches taller. The passenger sits on a wide, plush seat with large grab handles and a well-padded curved backrest built into the trunk. Both the rider and passenger perch their boots on wide, rubber-covered footrests.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
The GTL has a comfortable, upright seating position, but the standard 29.5-inch seat limited legroom for our 6-foot-tall tester with a 34-inch inseam. BMW offers a taller accessory seat that adds 2 inches.

GEAR UP
Helmet: Schuberth C5 Modular
Jacket: Fly Racing Off-Grid
Gloves: Fly Racing Brawler
Pants: Fly Racing Resistance Jeans
Boots: Fly Racing Milepost

Wind protection is first-rate. The large fairing punches a huge hole in the wind, and the aerodynamic windscreen smoothly parts the air. With the screen in the lowest position, airflow hit me at helmet level and assisted the ventilation of my Schuberth C5 modular helmet, but it caused some buffeting for Carrie when she rode as a passenger. Raising the windscreen 5 inches to full height, I had to look through the screen, but it created a quiet bubble of air for both of us. On either side of the bike, between the upper fairing and side panels, are two slipstream deflectors. In their normal closed position, they help push air out around the rider. When opened, they direct fresh air into the cockpit.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
The GTL’s electric windscreen can be adjusted over a 5-inch range (shown fully raised).

Measuring more than 8 feet from nose to tail and weighing 802 lb with its 7-gallon tank full, the Premium-equipped GTL is a long, heavy machine. You certainly feel that heft when lifting it off the sidestand or pushing it around the garage, but it’s less apparent on the road. The top-heavy bike tends to fall into turns and has remarkably light steering despite its size. Occasionally it has a vague, slightly disconnected feel when cornering, which is most likely due to its unconventional Hossack-style Duolever front end.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
The GTL has lighter steering than one expects for an 802-lb motorcycle, but feedback from the Duolever front end is relatively vague.

The GTL has three ride modes – Dynamic, Road, and Rain – that adjust throttle response, engine drag-torque control, Dynamic Traction Control, and Dynamic ESA, with input from the new 6-axis IMU. BMW has been refining its suite of electronics for years, and their integration and responsiveness are impressive. All the bits of data flying around in the background never intrude on the riding experience. The connection between the right grip and the rear wheel is direct, and the growl from the 6-into-2 exhaust with howitzer-sized cans taps into the brain’s pleasure center.

For braking, enormous 320mm discs – two in front and one in back – are grabbed by a pair of gorilla-grip 4-piston front calipers and a supporting 2-piston rear caliper. It’s hard to believe such a big bike can stop so fast and with so much feel at the front lever – and with barely any fork dive thanks to the Duolever design. The GTL is equipped with BMW’s Partial Integral ABS, so the hand lever applies the brakes to both wheels, while the foot lever applies braking only to the rear wheel.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Each saddlebag can accommodate a full-face helmet.

Out of the Fog

After a series of daylong solo and two-up test rides, I was itching to put some miles on the GTL, so with photographer Kevin Wing astride our Yamaha Tracer 9 GT long-term test bike, we left Ventura early one morning and headed up the coast. After stopping in San Luis Obispo for gas and coffee, we rode up Highway 1 to Big Sur, arriving just in time for lunch. We had tri-tip tacos on the back deck of Fernwood Bar & Grill in the shade of towering redwoods.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Mark Twain once said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” The Pacific Ocean is the world’s largest fog machine.

Even though it was late July, for the previous two hours we had ridden through thick, cold fog and erratic wind gusts, so I kept the grip and seat heaters cranked up to fight off the chill. Our plan was for late-light photography on the Monterey Peninsula, but the marine layer had the coast completely socked in. Instead, we continued north on Highway 1 to Santa Cruz, crossed over the coastal range to San Jose, and then made our way to San Francisco. After crossing the fogbound Golden Gate Bridge, we climbed into the mountains of Marin County until we were out of the pea soup.

Our photo shoot lasted until after the sun went down, so it was dark when we rode along a series of tight, twisty roads through a dense forest on our way to the town of Mill Valley. Like all K 1600s, the GTL has a new headlight array that includes a pair of position lights made up of six LEDs, four high beams made up of eight LEDs, and a central low beam made up of nine LEDs. All the lights are bright, and, informed by the IMU, the low beam expertly rolls left and right through a 35-degree arc based on lean angle to directly light into corners.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Taking a break in the shade of a redwood grove. The GTL’s removable, carpet-lined trunk accommodates two helmets and has an LED interior light.

Also new this year are “welcome,” “goodbye,” and “follow me home” light functions that activate the headlights, taillights, and auxiliary lights when turning the ignition on and off. Our test bike also had optional floor lighting, which activates an LED puddle light when the ignition is turned off.

By the time we checked into a motel, it was after 9 p.m. and we had been on the road for 15 hours. Packing and unpacking the GTL is a breeze. Two small fairing pockets in front of the rider’s shins, two saddlebags, and a top trunk provide 115 liters of total storage capacity. Tapping a button on the Keyless Ride fob remotely locks or unlocks all the storage compartments and luggage (except for the smartphone compartment). The saddlebags and trunks are removable, and the trunk has an interior light to help find stuff in the dark.

We were on the bikes again at 6 a.m. for a morning shoot, and then we made our way south. Our hopes for shooting the GTL at a Marin Headlands overlook with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background were thwarted by heavy fog. We filtered through city traffic, cruised the freeway, and took Skyline Boulevard (State Route 35) along a high coastal ridge under a canopy of redwoods, stopping for lunch at Alice’s Restaurant, a well-known moto hangout.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review

Kevin and I put in another 15-hour day of shooting and riding, logging 800 miles of our 2,000-mile test in just two days, many of them on some of the best curves in California. Hustling the big GTL through a tight set of twisties takes some work, but the reward is one of the most viscerally and aurally exciting corner exits one can hope for – lather, rinse, and repeat. When the road straightens out, it cruises smoothly and quietly, like a Great White shark gliding through the depths to conserve energy.

BMW’s K Series has come a long way in four decades, and 10 years on, the K 1600 GTL continues to impress.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Road Test Review
Would you ride 400 miles to watch a sunset? With a vista like this and a bike like the K 1600 GTL, we’d happily do it again.

2022 BMW K 1600 GTL Specs

Base Price: $26,895
Price as Tested: $29,640 (Exclusive Style Package, Premium Package, floor lighting)
Warranty: 3 yrs., 36,000 miles
Website: BMWMotorcycles.com

ENGINE
Type:
Liquid-cooled, transverse in-line Six, DOHC w/ 4 valves per cyl.
Displacement: 1,649cc
Bore x Stroke: 72.0 x 67.5mm
Compression Ratio: 12.2:1
Valve Insp. Interval: Varies, computer monitored
Fuel Delivery: BMS-X EFI, 52mm throttle valves x 6
Lubrication System: Dry sump, 4.75-qt. cap.
Transmission: 6-speed, hydraulically actuated wet clutch w/ quickshifter (as tested)
Final Drive: Shaft

CHASSIS
Frame: Cast-aluminum-alloy twin-spar main frame w/ engine as stressed member & aluminum subframe; cast-aluminum Paralever single-sided swingarm
Wheelbase: 63.7 in.
Rake/Trail: 27.8 degrees/4.2 in.
Seat Height: 29.5 in.; optional high seat: 31.5 in.
Suspension, Front: BMW Duolever w/ Dynamic ESA, 4.5-in. travel
Rear: BMW Paralever w/ single shock & Dynamic ESA, 5.3-in. travel
Brakes, Front: Dual floating 320mm fixed discs w/ 4-piston calipers & ABS
Rear: Single 320mm disc w/ 2-piston caliper & ABS
Wheels, Front: Cast, 3.50 x 17 in.
Rear: Cast, 6.00 x 17 in.
Tires, Front: 120/70-ZR17
Rear: 190/55-ZR17
Wet Weight: 802 lb (as tested)
Load Capacity: 432 lb (as tested)
GVWR: 1,234 lb

PERFORMANCE
Horsepower: 160 hp @ 6,750 rpm (claimed, at the crank)
Torque: 133 lb-ft @ 5,250 rpm (claimed, at the crank)
Fuel Capacity: 7.0 gals.
Fuel Consumption: 39 mpg
Estimated Range: 273 miles

The post 2022 BMW K 1600 GTL | Road Test Review first appeared on Rider Magazine.
Source: RiderMagazine.com

Connected | Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
A large crowd gathers for the biannual Slimey Crud Run in Wisconsin. Photos by the author.

This essay first appeared in Motorcycles Are Magic: An Anthology, edited by Melissa Holbrook Pierson with assistance from George Sarrinikolaou and published in 2021 by 10mm Socket Press. Pierson, the author, participates in the legendary Slimey Crud Run and explores how motorcyclists stay connected, intended or not.


The invitation to dinner might have been a spring petal on the wind, gone by unseen in the turn of a head. How did I manage to hear the ding of the incoming text, even as it mimicked a tone identical to the imperative summons of the hotel desk bell, over the layered noise of so much coming and going? It configured itself from the molecules of the air of the bar at the airport Chili’s, where I sat killing two hours between flights. The name of the person who had issued it was “Jeff,” to whom I’d been “introduced,” also by text, that morning. He was the vague someone I was told would help procure a bike for me to ride in the vaguely understood run I’d attend the day after I gave a talk at the Black Earth Library. This was the reason I was downing Sam Adams in the first place in the Chicago airport en route to Wisconsin.

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The earth was, indeed, black in southern Wisconsin. This startling notion would pierce my thoughts only after 10 continuous miles of passing it. Sometimes I don’t pay attention to the obvious. It pays attention to me.

Thank you, I had typed back: It looks unlikely, since my connecting flight was just delayed by 45 min., and unless you are eating on European time, it doesn’t look like I’ll make it.

“These guys are old. They eat at 7:30. You could check the menu online, give me your order, and the food won’t arrive till 8 anyway.”

Although I could probably make it by 8, truth be told just the thought of walking into a restaurant, asking where I might locate a table of strangers, explaining myself and then making small talk, made me tired. More precisely, exhausted, to the point of panting. I have an internal timer ticking down the minutes I can be in the company of others before an insensible need to get away whispers urgently Go, run! This is when the Fairfield Suites sings its Siren’s song, urging me toward the soothing deja-vu of anonymity. I could already feel the upswelling of relief loosed by the appearance of the green light after sliding the key card through the door lock: the lighthouse’s lone beacon. Through the stormy spray it promised safe harbor beyond the treacherous rocks of engaging, smiling, the effort of looking interested. I hang on to the rope that after so long is about to burn itself into my palm and I can feel I am about to let go. All I can think about is the comforting embrace of the bed it seems I have known all my life, with its marshalled pillows stacked in predictable order, and the Corian-countered bathroom that represents coming home again, only to a well-cleaned one. Its washcloth-folded-corner identicality will finally activate the exhale of distress withheld while communing with others of my species.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
A borrowed ride is a forever friend.

Then the late plane lands at the exact hour assigned to the on-time plane. As if the reason I too might be late had run backwards, time itself accordioning to something that had already been arranged. My phone’s map, asked to show the destination provided by Jeff, returns the arrival time. 7:30. Precisely. The restaurant is placed directly on the route to the hotel. I am being ordered to Smokey’s Steakhouse.

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The minute the door opens I see the oracle knows me well. It is the kind of place I live for. Not for the food – I had to order salads in steakhouses, or potatoes – but for the chance to walk into the past, where it has been kept safe so we may breathe its lost air in the present. We are to laugh and order drinks from within circles of warm yellow light yielding to a velvety dark just beyond, mysterious shadows that are not so much the result of low light in dark panelled rooms but of accumulated layers of happiness. We are to dine in our own history.

At the front desk I ask where I might find the motorcyclists, most of whom are without motorcycles on a cold, wet night. I had thought this would pose some difficulty. Instead I hear my name. And “Right this way.”

We pass the bar where under festive string lights people order exotic Midwestern beers that have likewise been preserved unchanged since another time, the one that existed before the need to make new versions of what had been discarded without a second thought. The nearest we get now is a label with a carefully researched font, designed last week.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
Before the run, a favorite activity commences. During and after it, too.

We head toward a private room in the back. As we go he tells me how his parents opened this supper club 63 years ago. Also that the Slimey Cruds eat here regularly. It is odd to feel such a pang on hearing the word “regularly.” There is nothing I have longed for more than a group of people to whom I could belong, where I might at last lay down a weary load. I most want what I fear most: to be with others, regularly.

The Slimey Cruds are people who appreciate legacy in all its forms. This old place, their old group, their old bikes especially, the European café racers that defined cool to a generation of yore. Like the brews here, their bikes are originals from before the era of nostalgia fetish, not a simulacrum of old – only with fuel injection and ABS (real spoke wheels though) – but genuine old. Lovingly polished, that’s all. In need of no reimagining because the original imagination was wholly sufficient.

I know none of the people arrayed around the U-shaped table. I spy one empty chair, at a corner. In moments like these I engage an old foe, a formidable prizefighter who is good at throwing a hook I never see coming. The sharp sting from the broken septimal cartilage floods my body with shock.

Or rather, I smile. It is a preemptive feint against humiliation, the punch I fear is coming. I sit in the empty chair and arrange my expression. I watch the butter, study the far wall. I turn to the man to my left just as he turns to me.

“Jeff,” he says. Then, “Glad to finally meet you.” But I’m looking into the eyes of someone whose story I have helped live, someone I’ve known all my life. The only seat at the table had to be next to Jeff.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
Man’s best friend – that goes for both the bike and the dog.

The woman to my right extends her hand, gives her name. I know her too. But in a more conventional way: she is an officer of the BMW Motorcycle Owners of America, a club of which I am a member. She organized a panel on which I participated at a national rally. I had no idea she lived in Madison, much less that she would end up next to me at a dinner I came close to passing by. Her husband, next to her, leans over and tells me he had reviewed my first book years ago. In a few minutes he will stand and raise his glass to me with a quote from that review. After some more toasts everyone will turn their attention to plates of hash browns, served family style.

Jeff starts talking, ignoring the clam chowder in front of him (the menu’s alternative is tomato juice, a choice I last saw when I was 10). What he says is of course familiar, since I have spent days and weeks in his company. He’s at every gathering; we meet on the road and hanging around in shops. We speak often on the phone, as he’s one of those I turn to in times of need – of opinions, of answers. He knows so much about so much. It’s a small detail, almost beneath mentioning, that we’ve never met. I know already he is the type who has no time to waste prevaricating because he’s been in enough tough scrapes, in foreign countries, alone, had ties severed to loved ones through all the usual ways people go away, lots of loss under the bridge. He never spends a second talking bullshit because that would be a second lost to living. That’s why I always go to him. He reveals he owns 20 bikes; of course. I knew that. He shows me his phone. There’s a picture of his Mike Hailwood replica in the desert of Moab taken the week before, a surreal flash of red and green posing in the scrub like the looker she is.

At age 45, he went to law school so he could finance a life in which riding takes preeminence. By practicing law for six months, he earns enough to ride the other half of the year. Ride anywhere he wants.

Living is mainly about losing and I’ve lived very little, I think as I listen to Jeff’s stories. Sometimes it’s blood. (He is limping currently.) There’s losing things, getting lost, losing people, losing houses and money and your way, and then leaning back on a couch in your skivvies, rain-soaked gear having been peeled off, transforming these stories into Homeric poetry in front of a group of people who have just gotten off bikes too.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
This very old-looking Olds is actually contemporary custom built around a 1970s Honda XL350.

There must be a story about the missing tooth, but I haven’t heard that one yet. His smile is warm and takes you in.

And in. I excuse myself from dinner – the others will stay, apparently until this day becomes the next – almost desperate for the Fairfield but glad I lashed myself to the mast earlier. I have become smaller and smaller as my reserves were sucked out through a tiny aperture and now I need solitude and the ice machine and a chocolate chip cookie from a tray near the effervescent desk clerk, always happy to see me and say the same thing each time the door slides open. “Welcome to the Fairfield!”

As I leave Jeff too pushes back his chair. He tries to limp as fast as I walk, as if it doesn’t matter. It matters. I slow down, much as I don’t want to since my car is at the back of the lot and I don’t know why he’s coming out here in the first place and it puts me at 90 seconds’ disadvantage for the elevator to relief, I mean my room.

On the way he diverts our path briefly toward a great white extended Mercedes Sprinter van. What else. It can hold bikes and everything else you need while waiting for the destination, the signal to go past. He reaches in. “I’m going to give you my GPS. That way you can just press the home button and it will take you to my house so you can pick up a bike on Sunday.” He hands me the ruby slippers. And then a backup pair in case the GPS doesn’t work: by the time I’ve turned the ignition on the rental car a text pings. His address.

Riding so much, alone, in foreign parts, and in places far from people (the farther the better), requires installation of new software in the brain, a program that makes you think of everything. In fact the GPS would not work, wouldn’t let me in. But two mornings later the address from his text would be the north star guiding me out of the city into the countryside, winding through gentle hills and into what appears to be nowhere, which is naturally where Jeff would live.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
What communal ride doesn’t mean having an Adventure?

Before this, however, there is an intervening 24 hours. If this wonderment has happened tonight, what will occur tomorrow? First, the talk at the library to which five people or 50 may come, and maybe what I plan to say will please them or it will bore them. Then, as I understand it, a motorcycle movie at night. In fact I don’t know what tomorrow will hold, what black earth will belatedly appear.

I always thought Kismet was a place. Actually, it is, a few of them. The one on Fire Island represents it well, being a bit of Atlantic beach I visited as a teen. Ergo, kismet.

It is also another term for “the will of Allah,” and predestination is Allah’s thing. The will of Allah might well have another name: this wondrous place. Here I am no longer in charge. It is sweet to relinquish the semblance of control, that which dogs me and bites me and wearies me all at once. Here I meet people and on looking into their eyes for the first time hear a voice in my head that contradicts unimpeachable evidence. “I’ve known you all my life.” But that’s strange. You live in Richmond, Madison, Milwaukee, Seattle. This is the first time I’ve been here. Yet here I am looking at you now and I’ve always known you.

A weird sensation that touches me only in this world. It is replete with its own colors and language and atmospheric disturbances. It is a separate cosmos, hidden within the one everybody thinks is the only one. Its portal looks nondescript, just another rusty door, but this is just to hide the gilded paradise that waits on the other side.

Motorcycling. It’s like a living Watteau, sunshine and pinks, flying swings and satin whispering to the air. Every day a fête galante of baroque sensuality, though there’s black grease under the fingernails and a pocket torn half off the FirstGear jacket. (Happened one memorable day long ago in Baja. Or maybe Alaska? On the Haul Road.)

It is raining. The librarian has stationed long tables outside the room, above them signs reading “Motorcycle Helmet Parking.” Clever. Of course there are helmets there. There always will be in a place like this no matter the weather, for the people who cannot do anything but ride.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
A miniature bike ridden by a giant.

I stand before the room of people and talk. I read a poem called “Coda: Road.” Road is always the coda to the story called road. I am taken out for lunch by some riders who have come from Chicago.

I have half an hour in my generic hotel room of solace, after hours of parley with those of my kind who never quite seem exactly like me – they are all connected to others, and to the world, in ways I ache to be, like the child wishing hard on the other side of the pane from the brand-new Flexible Flyers or the cupcakes with frosting towers and sugar flowers – before I must reattach prosthetic wings. In the neverending rain I drive into the heart of Madison. There’s the Barrymore Theater, but ah – here’s the parking space. It’s so far away I get lost and soaking trying to find my way back on foot.

I arrive on time for the beginning of the movie even though I should have missed it. This is a trend in the magical land that is Wisconsin. I have time to buy a beer in the lobby and retreat to a pilaster which will be my spine. I stand tall and invisible, watching clots of motorcyclists gesticulate, laugh, confer. (My tribe, to which I both belong and do not, composed as it is of humans.) The group is especially tight in Madison, a family of a few hundred.

In the ’70s, a couple of university grads noticed each other, or, more to the point, each other’s bikes. When you see someone riding your type – a Triumph, a Ducati, a CB750 – you recognize a kinship that goes deeper than mere DNA. And when you’re doing it in the same environment that sorely tests the person who loves to ride that motorcycle, denied during the long months of ice and wind blowing off the lakes (both small and Great), the recognition is like solder, hot and fast.

They got together to ride and wrench. Information was exchanged, in garages and over dinners. Next, necessarily, came the name: any loosely affiliated group of motorcyclists is a gang, in the eyes of the outside world. Up to no good.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
Variety is the spice of motorcycling life.

This group of intellectual hell-raisers, who in truth did like to ride fast – why else fall in love with metal beings in whose veins flows the blood of born racers? why else ponder the depths of carburetor jetting and aftermarket exhausts, ratios of bore and stroke? – decided to give the public what they wanted. What moniker would best suit these exemplars of the anti-social’s lowest rank? The Slimey Cruds it would be. A little in-joke. Next they would put on a run, where they might show the townspeople who really owned the roads, their slow-rolling thunder implicit warning.

Or not. Because the run is no run at all: you find your own way between Pine Bluff and Leland. Together, but apart. It’s 30 miles. So your run might take the better part of the day; there is no such thing as a straight line in a motorcyclist’s desires. There is wandering, exploration, and chance. There is time stretching to whatever length the way demands.

When you meet again, a thousand machines will be parked side by side in a roadside museum of individualism. The old, the painstakingly restored, the elegant and the rare – and sometimes all of these in one: the one you love to ride, and the one others love to pause to eye and imagine these lonely, embraceable curves on. (For that is the real secret of Madison and its diehard riders – their personal possession of endless roads through some of the most heartbreaking scenery in all America.)

Showing a movie the night before the run is the ritual warm-up to this riding-season warm-up; the next run, for it is a biannual event, will mark the end of the season four months later in October. It is not unusual for it to snow, or be cold enough anyway. Tomorrow it will also feel cold enough.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
The obligatory scenic stop for a photo of new friends.

I overhear one man say to another, “That bike saved my life,” followed by knowing laughter. All that needs to be said, multivalent meaning. I know all the levels instantly, intimately. Bikes saved my life too. And gave me this one. Now comes a temporary pause in the beer-drinking portion of the evening. It will resume at intermission. I enter and find a seat alone. The lights go down and the movie begins to roll. It tells the story of a New Zealander who was crazy enough to hand-build a race bike from the ground up. Its design is revolutionary. He works on it night and day. He brings it to America to compete in the Battle of the Twins; there is crisis and devastation and triumph and death (Isle of Man, of course) and more triumph, amid continuous mind-bending work and invention. Then the New Zealander is dead at age 45, of cancer. Now 10 of his bikes remain in the world, frozen forever at some indeterminate point in the progress toward perfection. There will never be any more, so individual an object they are. The man who was their beating heart is gone, and they are like Lenin’s embalmed corpse: at once his monument and his requiem mass. The one that got away.

I feel Jeff behind me. I know he’s there even if I don’t see him in the dark. At intermission I do, and I move to sit one row in front of him. I hear his voice, first to one side and then the other. Making plans with his cohort: What time will you be over? Yeah, not sure what I’ll ride. So-and-so is bringing the truck at 9. She’s coming a little later.

“You’re coming at 10, right?” Right, I say. The lights go down again.

The next morning I pass through a cattle gate left ajar at the end of the driveway to Jeff’s farm. The place is well hidden. It is also Penn Station for motorcyclists. There are five or six bikes on a concrete pad outside what looks like an old dairy barn; a Quonset hut on the other side of the farmyard holds what must be the rest of the stable. I had overheard one of Jeff’s friends answer a question from someone the night before: “Well, if you’re counting frames too, then I have around 40 bikes. I think.”

I have my choice of two specimens from the early ’70s, a Moto Guzzi Eldorado or a BMW slash-5, the second of which a friend of Jeff’s is just unloading from a van. Its shiny chrome with insets gave rise to a perfect nickname, Toaster Tank. Ask and ye shall receive. As I get out of the car another friend arrives, a gentlemanly writer who is a celebrity in the motorsports world who will later tell me about the happenstance that led to his career, one sheaf of typescript fluttering to earth and caught by these hands, not those. Decades later, he is known to millions. What might have happened to him otherwise? He does not know. Pure chance has a central role in deciding everything of moment.

We are getting ready to go. I’m standing in the kitchen – I have seen places like this before, where unmarried men live, and the bottle of bourbon is always in the same spot next to the sink, the same old grease giving the patina of history to the stove, dishes from yesterday or last month in the same leaning tower on the counter – and I ask Jeff if I might use his bathroom. He points to the front door. “There’s no bathroom.” Oh, I say. My brain automatically scrambles to make a sensible narrative out of facts suddenly tumbling as if during an accident: What happened here?

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
The difficult choice between two hardy classics, in front of a true motorcyclist’s cabinet of mysteries.

For now it’s a simple matter of disappearing into the brush behind the garbage cans.

But how does one go without a bathroom at night, in the winter, when there are houseguests? How does one live without a bathroom?

One lives to ride.

When Jeff is on his big dual-sport with the enormous plastic gas tank that drapes the frame like saddlebags on a camel, carrying enough fuel to take him ever deeper into unpeopled regions, even the concept of a bathroom is unnecessary, a word in a defunct language. You learn to live without what you no longer need. He tells me the house he bought when he was younger, an old farmhouse, burned down a couple years ago and with it everything he owned. His history, that of his family. His books and his music and his memories. It taught him something, about the impermanence of things and their ultimate irrelevance. That the lesson was grotesquely painful was a testament to its necessity. Now he lives in what was the old farm’s chicken coop.

As we head toward Pine Bluff, motorcycles thicken. They pass us, shoom. We pass them, on the side of the road, in the other lane, in gas stations. The highest concentration occurs in the parking lot of a big barn of a bar – inside are coffee urns and “Welcome Motorcyclists” banners and people chatting and meeting, again or for the first time, and still the place feels like an empty cavern – then it is time to go. Jeff leads with a friend following on a YSR pocket bike who looks like a cartoon, a man on a machine half his size, hovering a few inches above the pavement. Nonetheless I have to work to keep up although I crack the throttle wide on the old BMW. The journalist is behind me (I critique my riding through his eyes, hoping he doesn’t hear when I mis-shift, precisely as I always hope no one notices the red-faced panic or quiver of fear in my voice when nothing has caused it but being with you), and behind him the owner of my borrowed ride, his 12-year-old son riding pillion.

We fly under open sky. We are lost, one by one, around curves that rise and fall mid-turn, then are met again on the straightaways. We ride in precise concert, singers who have practiced the harmonies on this particular chorus so many times we are one voice in many parts. I’ve just met them but we’ve known each other forever.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
The end of the Slimey Crud Run is a lot like the beginning: talk and tire-kicking.

In Leland, its population of 50 temporarily boosted by a factor of 15 this day, the concentration of motorcycles has reached critical mass. The Slimey Crud Run functions just south of pure anarchy, which means it functions as it was intended: valve clearances spot on, carburetion dialed in, torque a propulsion of sensual ideal, everything else the possession of gorgeous chance. Bikes line both sides of the road around Sprecher’s Bar, an aboriginal watering spot set down in the middle of a nowhere that was also pretty much nowhere in 1900, when the elderly owner’s father bought it as a general store. To keep it going through two world wars and a great depression in between, Sprecher’s tried a little of everything. The recipe that ended up the keeper was beer and guns. It might be the only place in the country now for one-stop shopping, your argument and its conclusion obtained in the same room. A sign tacked on the back wall reads “If you voted for Obama, please turn around and leave! You have proven that you are not responsible enough to own a firearm!” Over it hangs a Confederate flag, no doubt a recent addition to the décor, as Wisconsin recruited and lost 91,000 men for the Union cause, many of them in the famously noble Iron Brigade.

Connected Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run
Inside Sprecher’s, guns for sale and beer for drinking.

We get cheese and salami sandwiches (mine minus the salami), and even though the town is flooded with people, as in the parable of the loaves and the fishes there are still stools available at Junior Sprecher’s bar. There one can sit and gaze at the wall, its rifles and shotguns racked and handguns displayed in a glass case near the establishment’s framed license to sell them. I don’t leave even though I was asked so politely by the sign. Jeff has been absorbed somewhere outside into the mass of his countrymen. When it’s time to leave he materializes next to me.

We mount up again. Back a different way; here there is always a different way, and that is the only way. An hour and a half later we snake up the driveway, lean bikes on sidestands. At home he peels off his gear and now wanders around in his long underwear. He’s a big man. He loads the potbelly stove with lumber scraps and gets a flame going. Beers are found. We sit variously on office chairs and other scavenged seating. We are in the only place we belong at an unrepeatable moment. I sense something in the room I have either been longing to become or something I already am: elementally human, molecularly social. Kin. But I will leave.

Two days and a thousand miles separate us now, jet fuel long burned or offloaded to the long-suffering earth. It presaged our return, a trail between us and all those we were soon to rejoin, or hoped to anyway.

I am outside, home, when I hear a sound from the phone in my back pocket. I pull it out and see what I or someone else or maybe some thing have made happen. The phone is calling Jeff. I quickly end the call, praying I punched the button quickly enough. Filled with rising curiosity about how this might have happened. Chastened. Afraid. I did not mean to connect.

“Connected” first appeared in Motorcycles Are Magic: An Anthology, edited by Melissa Holbrook Pierson with assistance from George Sarrinikolaou and published in 2021 by 10mm Socket Press. Pierson is the author of The Perfect Vehicle: What It Is About Motorcycles; The Man Who Would Stop At Nothing: Long-Distance Motorcycling’s Endless Road; The Place You Love Is Gone: Progress Hits Home; Dark Horses And Black Beauties: Animals, Women, and Passion; and The Secret History Of Kindness: Learning From How Dogs Learn. Her essay “Alone: Onward Through The Fog” was published in the September 1992 issue of Rider. For more information, visit MelissaHolbrookPierson.com.

The post Connected | Chance Encounters on the Slimey Crud Run first appeared on Rider Magazine.
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Can the different winner streak continue at Silverstone?

Jorge Lorenzo was the winner in that all-time classic battle with Marc Marquez (Repsol Honda Team) in 2013, before the latter went on to win a year later in 2014. Valentino Rossi mastered the rain in 2015 to claim his first win at Silverstone before Maverick Viñales (Aprilia Racing) won his first premier class race with Suzuki in 2016. The stakes were high in 2017 and it was title-chasing Andrea Dovizioso (WithU Yamaha RNF MotoGP™ Team) who edged out Viñales for victory that year, while a couple of years later in 2019, Alex Rins (Team Suzuki Ecstar) pipped Marc Marquez to the line. And of course, last year, Fabio Quartararo (Monster Energy Yamaha MotoGP™) stormed to a dominant win on his way to the title.

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Portuguese GP to open 2023 season

The full, provisional 2023 MotoGP™ calendar will be published by the FIM in due course, but the first event can already be confirmed. The 2023 Portuguese GP will mark the first time the MotoGP™ calendar has begun in Europe since 2006 and will be only the third season opener held in Europe in more than three decades. It will also be the first time Portugal has ever hosted the first race of the year, with expectation ahead of the new season set to hit full speed on the Algarve as the grid debut with their new colours and machinery, and the first trophies of the season are awarded.

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San Marino Grand Prix poster officially revealed

The legendary designer, famed for his work with Valentino Rossi throughout his career, has put World Championship rivals Francesco Bagnaia (Ducati Lenovo Team) and Fabio Quartararo (Monster Energy Yamaha) front and centre, whilst also promoting several other premier class stars.

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The temperature is rising – bring a brolly

When we think of the weather and Grand Prix motorcycle racing, it is usually the rain, even snow and hurricanes, that come to mind. The 1980 Austrian Grand Prix at the Salzburgring was cancelled when heavy snow prevented riders from getting into the paddock, let alone racing. Who will forget the approaching hurricane on our first visit to Indianapolis in 2008? And infamously, four years ago, the British Grand Prix never even got started when the track at Silverstone was flooded with torrential rain.

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Act Two begins: Silverstone kicks the season back into gear

Finally, for Honda there is progress on the cards too. After summer break to heal up, Pol Espargaro (Repsol Honda Team) will be back at something a lot closer to full power and aiming high, having made a breakthrough last year at the track with a stunning pole position, denying Bagnaia and Quartararo. Stefan Bradl will be back in for Marc Marquez as the test rider does double duty, and Alex Marquez (LCR Honda Castrol) and Takaaki Nakagami (LCR Honda Idemitsu) will want some results after a likewise tougher run. Can Silverstone start a turnaround? Last year we saw Yamaha, Suzuki, Aprilia, Ducati, Honda and KTM within the top six at Silverstone, which marked the first time there were six different manufacturers in the top six since 1972…

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Premier Lounge: MotoGP™ Premier’s new exclusive venue

The Premier Lounge offers all-inclusive dining options, from a breakfast buffet with delicious bites like assorted fruits, bakery items and cold cuts to gourmet, plated meals and decadent desserts. You’ll also find yourself indulging in snacks throughout the day, between trips to the premium open bar serving wine, beer and spirits.

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Moor and Farkas take victory at Autodrom Most

Moor was one of ten riders fighting for second place in the race, while he also had to overcome a double Long Lap Penalty for work being carried out on his bike after the three-minute board had been shown on the grid. This dropped him to the back of the group fighting for second place, but with six laps to go had started his fightback. On Lap 10, he moved into fourth place at Turn 1 and, a lap later, had moved into second. Moor was third on the run to the line on the final lap but was able to slipstream his way past Veneman to claim second, with Veneman finishing in third place.

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