Dear Chief Medical Officer, please let us ride again.
You look like a reasonable man. And we know you and everybody’s dear ol’ dad ScoMo are seriously considering relaxing the restrictions during this horrible pandemic.
So please let us ride.
Your own coronavirus hotline and every state and territory heath department thinks riding a motorcycle is exercise. We just need you to remind the cops!
So please, please let us ride.
We understand you are concerned with our health. Thanks for that. We sincerely appreciate your concern.
But please remember our mental health as well.
Data and analytics company GlobalData says the enforced social isolation rules, along with the death threat from Covid-19 and financial disruption will increase mental disorders such as depression lead ing to a major increase in sales of drugs for psychiatric disorders such as depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder for many years to come.
You don’t want an epidemic of depression and suicide to follow this epidemic, do you?
So pretty please won’t you just let us ride to exercise our bodies and minds!
If you do …
- To socially distance, even keeping 1.5 metres from cyclists!
- To not carry a pillion unless they are from our household with whom we’ve been in home detention these past fifty million weeks or so.
- We won’t take off our gloves when we refuel our bikes … heck, we won’t even take off our helmets when we go inside the servo to pay!
- We won’t go to crowded beaches, parks or shops, but head off into the lonely hills and valleys.
- Unlike cyclists, we won’t treat our suburban streets as our own personal race track, leaving a vapour trail of coronavirus sweat behind us to infect passersby.
- And finally, we promise to do the rider wave rather than the Ulysses secret handshake!
If you will please just let us ride again!